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Its accompanying video stars the singer alongside her rumored girlfriend, actress Tessa Thompson, who step into a club populated by surreally beautiful androgynes. She dances, while playing guitar, with a line of dancers in red berets and Daisy Dukes, a curtain of beads covering her face.

Coming out as bisexual while in a relationship - 10 women explain

Vincent in recent videos accompanying the album Masseduction : the flat colors, the disembodied legs, the bodies swaddled completely in latex. Vincent use them differently, but they seem to be part of an incipient visual lexicon of female queerness — not one that begins and ends with sexuality and sadness, as in the French film Blue Is the Warmest Color , but one that encompasses play, irony, desire, and, most of all, joy. The culture that gives rise to concepts like bisexual lighting, as well as other queer readings into popular culture, is an arena where geographically isolated queers can find each other and play.

Its queerness is explicit, ecstatic, and self-directed. More than representation, it offers proof that queer women artists excel at building visual worlds all their own, lit in blazing shades of pink and blue. This story has been updated to clarify the explanation of bisexual lighting. Nobody's actually congratulated my dude on "turning me" or "helping me make up my mind" — yet. But I have had a few comments about how relieved I must be that, like Jessie J 's, my experimental phase is over.

Nope nope nope. People can be very uncomfortable with the concept of bisexuality as a permanent identity rather than a 'holding pattern' while you choose which gender you REALLY like.

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Evan Rachel Wood, who is bisexual, told a journalist for Out magazine, " People like things black and white. It's less scary. Grey areas make people uneasy. The LGBT community and marriage have a very fraught relationship, with a legacy of "traditional" gender roles and inherent historical patriarchy to battle. Taking advantage of a right that many gay people still can't have — and aren't sure they want — can put a big wedge between yourself and your queer identity and community.

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Putting on the dress and the ring and legally binding yourself to a person of the opposite sex can wreak havoc not only on your gay credentials but on your own self-perception. Is this really true to who I am?

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Am I turning my back on the struggle of a minority? Am I — gasp — taking the easy way out? Quick answer: No. I'm not.

Coming out as bisexual while in a relationship - How 10 women told their boyfriend

Marriage is never an "easy" decision, regardless of sexuality, and if I'd fallen in love with a lady, I would have married a lady. If anything, the ease with which I could get hitched to a dude, and the sheer happiness that accompanied that act, makes me even more conscious of what it means to deprive other queer people of that right. And then there's the concept that a lifetime with only one set of genitals for company is inconceivable for bisexual people. Won't you always be thinking about the other one?


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Another difficult aspect of the hyper-sexualization of bisexual people is the threesome effect. Again, just because I experience attraction to both men and women does not mean that I want to have sex with both of them at once, and to assume that I'd want to have sex with either person in the couple is again, narcissistic. And to my fellow bisexuals out there, if your partner is suspicious of you simply because of your sexuality, they are not worth your time.

How Can I Best Support My Bi Boyfriend?

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Sexuality does not determine fidelity; fidelity is a choice.


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